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FEBRUARY 13, 2010: A new chapter has been added to Australia's rugby league history today.  The first ever game between the Indigenous All Stars and the NRL All Stars was held at Skilled Park on the Gold Coast - the home ground of Titans indigenous veteran Preston Campbell, who came up with this All Stars concept.  Not to miss this historic opportunity, I decided to have a weekend away on the Gold Coast and off I went.

I think rugby league officials and event promoters seriously underestimated the marketability of the Indigenous All Stars.  I was hoping to get hold of an Indigenous jersey, training T-shirt and singlet, and went looking for them as soon as I arrived in Surfers Paradise.  But I just couldn't find ANY Indigenous stuff to speak of!

Surfers Paradise is full of surf shops but not particularly known for sporting goods stores, so I tried Rebel Sport at Pacific Fair - a ginormous shopping complex in Broadbeach.  To my dismay, however, they'd already sold their last Indigenous item, and all they had left were NRL All Stars jerseys.  When I asked one of the shop assistants: "You've run out of Indigenous stuff, have you?" she quipped: "Everyone has!"

I then tried my luck at one of the merchandise kiosks at Skilled Park, but most of the Indigenous gear had already sold out there as well.  I was lucky (and small) enough to grab one of the few remaining 'kids size' jerseys, but many people simply missed out.

Now, here's my secret tip: if you happen to live in Sydney and are desperate for Indigenous items, head straight to Mick Simmons in George Street, opposite the Queen Victoria Building.  As of February 18, they still had some Indigenous jerseys, T-shirts and singlets left, but you'd better hurry!

THE NIGHT AUSTRALIA TURNED BLACK

Needless to say, the crowd at the game was VERY MUCH pro-Indigenous.  At the Pacific Fair bus terminal, a line almost as long as the length of football field was formed for the free shuttle service to the venue, but I could not spot a single soul sporting NRL All Stars outfit.  Poor old NRL players would have been forgiven if they thought they were playing on foreign soil!

It would have been very interesting if a census was carried out at Skilled Park on the night, for I got the impression that around 90% of the 26,687-strong crowd were Indigenous people and the remaining 10% were their white relatives, cousins and in-laws!

I'd secured myself a front-row seat near what I call 'Justin Hodges Corner' (although he didn't play this time because of injury!).  However, a guy was already sitting in my seat when I arrived there, and he just wouldn't want to surrender it because he wanted to sit tight with his favorite cousins.

In the end, we agreed to swap our seats and I somehow ended up about ten seats down, in the midst of his extended clan of about 15 or so Irish-Australian gents and their Aboriginal offspring and in-laws!!  Since I'm highly unlikely to pass as white, I pretended as if one of my parents were also Aboriginal and barracked for the Indigenous team with them.

It was a hilarious experience, and I really enjoyed chatting with my companions of the night.  As we would discover in the course of our conversation, the guy from Sydney who was sitting next to me, even knew this Japanese rugby league player - my acquaintance who once lived and played in Sydney!!  (You'd be amazed how small the world has become nowadays...!!)

The All Star concept was a resounding success.  It was only meant to be a pre-season exhibition game but obviously they forgot to tell that to the players - particularly those on the Indigenous side.  They played as if this was their grand final, and the standard of the game was as high as State of Origin.

And the funniest post-try celebration I've ever seen came only three minutes into the match by none other than 35-year-old indigenous veteran Wendell Sailor - a 'larger-than-life' league character - in his farewell match.  After scoring a four-pointer off five-eighth Scott Prince's grubber kick, good old Wendell pulled out the corner post and started an impromptu didgeridoo performance while his teammates danced around him.  And it happened right next to where I was sitting!!

This unique match was contested in four quarters instead of two halves, and the Indigenous side led 10 - 0 at halftime with a try each to Sailor and young redhead Ben Jones.  The NRL side then hit back with three tries by Josh Morris, Benji Marshall and Michael Jennings, leading for the first time by 12 - 10.  With just a few minutes to go, it looked like they were going to bag this very first All Stars honor.

But the Indigenous boys weren't finished yet.  Halfback Johnathan Thurston threw a cheeky 'wrap-around-a-player' pass while being tackled, and interchange Jamie Soward sprinted off to seal the famous victory by 16 - 12.

MY 'SLIDING DOOR' MOMENT

The only disappointment of the night for me was that I couldn't take my camera inside the stadium and, as such, I ended up with NO photos to tell the tale afterwards.  Being a photographer by profession, I don't have any compact camera, so I took my smallest SLR camera to the stadium.  Ordinarily, it wouldn't cause a slightest stir at venues like Sydney Football Stadium, ANZ or Suncorp Stadium - but obviously that's not the case at Skilled Park.  I wasn't really impressed when told by security to leave my SLR camera in the cloakroom, while many other people were snapping whatever they liked with their so-called compact cameras (and you'd be damned to learn what these tiny cameras can do these days...).

I saw other people with SLRs also being stopped by security at the gate.  I would have appreciated if someone had at least warned us interstate punters BEFOREHAND so we could have arranged Plan B before boarding our respective flights...

But you'd have to admire sometimes what a chain of coincidences can do to you.  Back in Sydney a couple of days later, I was flipping through the sports section of the Sunday Telegraph when I spotted a small photo of Wendell Sailor blowing a makeshift 'didgeridoo' - and in the background, although partially obscured, was ME!!

I just had to laugh at this remarkable fortune; if I hadn't swapped my seat with that guy, I wouldn't have ended up in the picture!  It was just like one of those scenes in the movie Sliding Doors, where a little decision you make or a little delay here and there could completely change the course of your life thereafter.  Now at least I have something to prove that I was there when Wendell scored THAT try!

The first ever All Stars match was truly entertaining, and it's definitely a fixture to stay in the rugby league calendar.  And I've already penciled in another Gold Coast trip in my diary for next year.

NOVEMBER 2009: Am I the only traveler to Thailand that questions the logicality of operations at Suvarnabhumi - Bangkok's three-year-old international airport?  It is absolutely humongous and boasts some six wings and seven terminal concourses, but the process of boarding (or leaving) your aircraft there is nowhere near as simple as it should be.

I've visited Thailand twice since this airport opened its doors in 2006, and each time I boarded my flight, I had to get on a shuttle bus from my boarding gate along, say, Concourse E - only to be carried ALL THE WAY to the waiting aircraft on the tarmac near Concourse A, on the other end of this enormous building.  Ditto for leaving the aircraft after landing; you'd have to take a sightseeing tour around the terminals on a shuttle bus before finally reaching the exit gate.

Even more fascinating is, at Suvarnabhumi, you will need to clear the security check TWICE before you board your aircraft - first at the general screening area, and then at your boarding gate.  This means that you can't get a bottle of drinking water, or any other liquid/gel/cream in excess of 100ml, from the numerous shops inside the terminal.  ...Then why on earth did they bother to locate all these duty free shops between those security checkpoints in the first place?!?!?!

IN THE MEANTIME, AT MELBOURNE'S TULLAMARINE AIRPORT...

DECEMBER 15, 2009: When I visited Melbourne for Bruce Kulick's solo tour, Virgin Blue's computer system crashed BIG TIME at Tullamarine Airport and my flight back to Sydney was also affected by it.  I had already checked in and was about to board my aircraft when this problem occurred.  The cabin crew now had to manually write down each passenger's name, their seat number, and how many bags they'd checked in - and this process took FOREVER.

In the end, my flight was delayed by two and a half hours.  Still, I was one of the lucky ones; most of the later flights were simply canceled and all the affected passengers had to stay in Melbourne for an extra night.  I now have a renewed respect for the humble barcode...

FEBRUARY 1, 2010: Yes, it's this time of year... when I pretend to be the No.1 tennis fan in the world and watch the Australian Open on TV for two weeks.  After all, January is pretty much the only month we Aussie inhabitants can watch tennis LIVE at decent enough hours of the day or the evening!

Now it is kind of becoming my annual tradition to draw some inspiration from the tournament and make an illustration out of it.  This year, though, men's singles winner Roger Federer is a notable absentee from my drawing.  Instead, it's the major 'casualties' who have the honor of appearing in my own 'Archibald' exhibition on the Photo Gallery page.

If you didn't follow the whole tournament, you probably won't get the joke - but to those who did, it might provide a bit of a laugh...  There's poor No.3 seed Novak Djokovic, who suffered an upset stomach and had to dash to the toilet to throw up during his quarter-final match against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.  Usually 'happy' Marcos Baghdatis, who wasn't smiling for once when he had to retire from the third-round match against Lleyton Hewitt because of a shoulder injury.  The defending men's singles champion Rafael Nadal, who was also forced to quit after injuring his knee in his quarter-final encounter with the eventual runner-up, Andy Murray.  ...And then there's Kim Clijsters - the reigning US Open women's singles champion - who suffered a rather uncharacteristic 0 - 6, 1 - 6 loss in her third-round match against Nadia Petrova!

Looking at those players, I've noticed a rather peculiar thing: all four of them share the same star sign of Gemini.  You could also add to the list another Gemini in Venus Williams - who pretty much self-destructed by committing 11 double faults and some 53 unforced errors in the quarters against China's rising star, Li Na.  Is it just a pure coincidence... or can any astrologer explain this weird phenomenon??

JANUARY 2010: Wow, the first decade of this millennium flew past so quickly!  Now we officially say “Goodbye” to the naughties and “Welcome” to the year 2010.  …Then will this new decade be the well-behaveds?  I don’t think so…

DECEMBER 24, 2009: Bruce Kulick - ex-KISS and current Grand Funk Railroad lead guitarist - visited our shores once again on a whirlwind Australian tour to support his latest solo album, BK3.  The mini Down Under tour kicked off with his 'birthday gig' in Adelaide on December 12, and continued on to Sydney (Dec.13) and Melbourne (Dec.14).

BK3 - which also features guest musicians including KISS bassist Gene Simmons and his son Nick - will go on sale internationally on February 2, 2010.  Some of my live photos, taken at Bruce's Sydney and Melbourne shows, are now posted on his official website.

OFFICIAL BRUCE KULICK SITE:
MESSAGE FROM BRUCE (Go to the 2009 Message Archive below for his own tour report)
http://www.kulick.net/message/archive09.shtml
AUSTRALIA TOUR 2009 PHOTO ALBUM (My photos are mostly in the bottom six rows)
http://www.kulick.net/photoalbum/australia2009/

UPDATED FEBRUARY 4, 2010: I've now added several new albums to my Photo Gallery.  As my Photo Gallery still has some idiosyncrasies due to technical glitches, I've tentatively added just a few pix in each album for now.

By the way, if any of you viewers happen to find image/s of yourself in my Photo Gallery but don't want it/them displayed on the site, please DO let me know before suing me, OK?  (In that case, I'll remove the photo/s in question ASAP!)  Cheers, and enjoy the pix!

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING PARTIES who have personally given their blessing for me to post their images on this blog:
Wayne Gardner; Kevin Schwantz; Six Hours; Stand; and Marshall Humphreys & People on Atiu, The Cook Islands

UPDATED PHOTO ALBUMS

NEW!! The Aussie Open Tennis Trilogy (February 4/2010)

NEW!! 2006 Beach Footy (October 12/2009)

NEW!! 2008 Australian F1-GP (October 12/2009)

NEW!! 2008 Rugby League World Cup (October 12/2009)

NEW!! 2009 NRL Season That Was (October 12/2009)

* NOTE: The Nepal Himalaya Album is currently being moved from the bottom of the Gallery to the top.
* WARNING: The Cook Islands Album contains images of real human skulls and is not recommended for the faint-hearted.

OCTOBER 4, 2009: The Melbourne Storm has made it to the National Rugby League grand final four years in a row - at the expense of my beloved Brisbane Broncos (having lost their halfback Peter Wallace to injury, they were soundly beaten 40 - 10 by Melbourne in their preliminary final clash the previous weekend).  So I jumped on the Storm bandwagon now and attended this year's decider to support my second favorite team.  ...Let's just say I consider these two teams 'interstate brothers', and I decided to represent the Broncos outfit on this occasion!  In any case, if my first preferred option does not quite work out, I'm always prepared to take full advantage of Plan B...

Melbourne's opponents on the night were the Parramatta Eels who call ANZ Stadium - the grand final venue - their backyard, and pretty much the whole joint was YELLOW.  And poor old Storm supporters formed purple patches in the stands - well, quite literally.  But they were the ones that had the last laugh.

Parramatta had enjoyed a remarkable late-season surge from the third last place to reach the grand final, but their dream run ended just short of a fairytale premiership (and bookmakers' nightmare), with the Storm prevailing by 23 - 16.  I won't delve into the match itself here, for you should have watched and/or read about it in detail elsewhere in the media by now.

What knocked me around - again, quite literally - was the post-match supporters function held by the Melbourne Storm.  The club booked Acer Arena (yes, Acer Arena, no less!!) next door for their function this year, and the floor was packed with exuberant fans, mostly from south of the Victorian border.

Clad in my Storm jersey, I slipped into the venue pretending as if I were the biggest Melbourne supporter in the world (and I had to hide my Broncos scarf in my bag, of course).  A six-piece live band kicked off the event and entertained the gathered fans with an endless medley of hit songs, including Bon Jovi's Livin' On A Prayer, Working Class Man by Jimmy Barnes, Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf, You Can't Stop The Music by Village People... and (Simply) The Best - made synonymous with rugby league ever since Tina Turner appeared in the game's promotions back in the nineties.  And Melburnians ROCK, loudly singing along - and they sure know how to party!!

At around 9:00p.m. Melbourne's euphoric under-20's side appeared on stage with their Toyota Cup trophy - which they claimed after defeating the Wests Tigers in a tight 24 - 22 win in the decider, making it a double celebration for the club.

And then some more music and dancing followed while the fans patiently waited for the 'main act' to come on stage.  Originally, the post-match function had been scheduled from 7:30 - 10:00p.m. but it was already 10:15p.m. when the Storm's NRL squad finally arrived at Acer Arena.  Well, it wasn't as bad as a certain Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses fame, but still...

At the first sight of their heroes, the fans just went WILD... like at any major concert.  I was foolhardy enough to be right in front of the stage, which I later realized wasn't particularly a good idea.  Someone behind me splashed his beer all over the place in jubilation, and I copped most of it over my head.  With my hair and my camera dripping with stinking beer, I was squashed solid by big, crazy men amid sweat and body odor.  I am just amazed that I survived it all without shedding any blood and tears...!

I'd thought there wouldn't be anything worse than the front-row audience at a Velvet Revolver gig, but the Storm supporters beat 'em all...  After all, those are the people from the city where the world's one-and-only KISS Symphony was recorded, and where many big-name international rock acts tend to schedule one more show than in Sydney.

The Storm players were treated like rock stars on the night, though I must say their impromptu performance of We Are The Champions was rather out of tune...  After much high-fiving with the fans, halfback Cooper Cronk was the last one to leave the stage - unleashing the inner rock star in him and savoring every moment of it.  It is unclear, however, if any of the players were allowed to invite groupies into their hotel rooms afterwards...

Despite my near-death experience (NOT!), I am hoping to attend another such function in 12 months' time - hopefully with the Broncos.  However, judging by their fans' passion I witnessed at this year's Origin 3, I'm wondering if that would be a suicidal act...

Bruce Kulick – ex-KISS and current Grand Funk Railroad lead guitarist – has recently announced his upcoming Australian tour in December to support his latest solo album, BK3.  It is his third solo disc as the title suggests, and features guest artists including Knack lead vocalist Doug Fielder, KISS drummer Eric Singer, Union/ESP bandmate John Corabi, and father-and-son combination of KISS bassist Gene Simmons and his offspring Nick.

Bruce's three shows – to be held in Adelaide, Sydney and Melbourne – will be a mouth-watering smorgasbord of KISS songs from the Bruce Kulick era (1984 - 1996) and some brand-new tunes off the BK3 album.  Copies of BK3 will be available exclusively at the shows ahead of its worldwide debut.  Tickets are now on sale at the venues and outlets below.

ADELAIDE (Saturday, December 12, 2009)
Fowlers Live
www.fowlerslive.com.au

SYDNEY (Sunday, December 13, 2009)
The Gaelic Theatre
www.thegaelic.com

For Adelaide and Sydney tickets, contact Moshtix:
TEL: 1300-438-849
www.moshtix.com.au

MELBOURNE (Monday, December 14, 2009)
The Corner Hotel
TEL: (03) 9427-9198
www.thecornerhotel.com

OFFICIAL BRUCE KULICK SITE:
http://www.kulick.net

SEPTEMBER 7, 2009: Maytheforcebwithme - my fantasy NRL team in the Daily Telegraph SuperCoach competition - has finished the 2009 season in 4,856th position out of the eventual 92,716 teams.  That's just outside the top 5% - not a bad effort for a first-year entrant.

Andrew 'Joey' Johns - one of the modern legends of the game from Newcastle - was also involved in the comp and writing a weekly column on his team 'Joey's Mob' in the Daily Telegraph, so I started out aiming to emulate his team.  However, it soon became obvious that his mob was struggling, and I had a sheer pleasure in outscoring his team on a regular basis.  Sorry, Joey... but you just have to forget your sentiment for the Knights and New South Wales players - get more Queenslanders and Kiwis involved!!

What I found out during my debut season was that this game was more akin to studying the stock market than just juggling the starting roster each week, and that it required a fair bit of research on the player stats on a regular basis.

Below is my player line-up at the completion of the final round, but it is VERY different from the team I fielded in Round 1, for I have used up all of my 30 trades - the maximum number allocated for the entire season.  Only eight of my original members (denoted here in upper case) have survived the ax, and here's the verdict on each player:

No.1 - BILLY SLATER (Storm): My durable QLD and Australian fullback played 23 club matches out of the possible 24 despite his heavy representative duties.  Was ranked third behind Dally M winner Jarryd Hayne (Eels) and NSW captain Kurt Gidley (Knights) in the fullback position, but - as his real-life coach Craig Bellamy says - I won't swap him with anybody else!

No.2 - Dane Nielsen (Storm): His was a real Cinderella story.  He was one of the three youngsters I got late in the season (more on that below) and I didn't expect any of them to see too much game time in the NRL this year.  That was until Nielsen replaced Storm's star center Greg Inglis - who was stood down following his assault allegations - and did more than a respectable job.  Obviously, Storm coach Craig Bellamy recognized his potential as well and kept him on the starting side when Inglis made his return from a two-week sabbatical.  Judging solely by his name, I'd kind of imagined Dane to be of Scandinavian descent with blond hair, etc. - but my Google search later revealed that he's actually a cool-looking indigenous young man from Queensland!  Highly promising.

No.3 - JAMAL IDRIS (Bulldogs): Takes out the 'Absolute Bargain of the Year' gong (and his Mickey Mouse locks get the 'Hairdo of the Year' title, narrowly beating Eel Fuifui Moimoi's 'beads 'do').  I got Jamal dirt-cheap (for just $92,400) at the beginning of the season and put him on my starting roster right from Round 1, and he duly delivered with two tries against Manly.  Went missing a couple of times through injury and club suspension (for punching his Dogs teammate Ben Barba!) but was still valuable enough to keep him on my squad.  Didn't get much football towards the end of the season, though, as Josh Morris and Bryson Goodwin on the left side were having so much fun at the Dogs (bugger!).

No.4 - JUSTIN HODGES (Broncos): Like Idris, Justin often went AWOL mid-season due to a couple of injuries as well as his international and QLD Origin commitments.  But when he DID play, he was averaging 56 points per game - which is excellent for centers and wingers - and that's when he wasn't even scoring tries himself!  Probably the most hated player by NSW supporters, but I'm an unabashed Justin Hodges fan and he will again be the first player I'll pick for my squad next season.

No.5 - Bryson Goodwin (Bulldogs): Undisputed 'Discovery of the Year'.  Virtually unknown before the season, this guy scored 19 tries in the regular season - just three short of the top try-scorer Brett Morris (Dragons) on 22.  Currently being courted by the New Zealand Rugby League for their upcoming Four Nations squad, for his grandma was a Maori.  The big question is, can he perform the haka?

No.6 - Terry Campese (Raiders): He might have been dropped from the NSW Origin squad after just one game, but was one of the most reliable five-eighths and finished fourth on the ladder for that category.  I hope the NSW selectors would give him another chance next year... but then maybe not.  If I pick him again for my team in 2010, I'd rather that he stay away from Origin!

No.7 - Johnathan Thurston (Cowboys): I got this Australian and QLD halfback only after the Origin series, but he made a considerable impact on my squad's performance.  His points fluctuated a bit, though, depending on the Cowboys' results.  Nevertheless, he finished the season with a big bang, scoring a massive 145 points in the final round against the Roosters - this year's wooden spooners.  It sure pays to have the best player in the world on your side.

No.8 - Ben Hannant (Bulldogs): I recruited this hardworking QLD forward as soon as he recovered from the injury he'd suffered in his Origin 2 heroics.  However, 'Polar Bear' succumbed to yet another injury and only managed to put in five games for me in the end.  Was very expensive, too - although he was worth every cent of the price tag when he did play.  Will be high up on my shopping list next year.

No.9 - Robbie Farah (Tigers): Like Terry Campese, poor old Farah ended up as a NSW Origin reject after two games, but was peerless among the front-rowers in this Fantasy comp and finished fifth in the Overall Player Rankings.  Averaged a staggering 78 points per game, which was at least six points more than anybody else in the front-row position.  Can't go past this hooker with silky ball skills.

No.10 - SAM THAIDAY (Broncos): Had a bit of an up-and-down season and, to be honest, I didn't quite know what to make of Slammin' Sam's form!  Infamously recorded 'one run for one meter' in the Round 14 match against the Bulldogs (if I recall correctly), and picked up an injury in Origin 3, which didn't help his cause in his club commitments, either.  Somehow bounced back from his mid-season slump to finish strongly towards the business end of the season.

No.11 - COREY PARKER (Broncos): Was the very picture of consistency and put in 110% effort in every single match he played.  (If you were to put your money on a racehorse, it would pay to pick an honest type, right?)  I was really grateful the QLD Origin selectors kept their hands off this guy.  A great asset especially during the Origin period, also sharing captaincy with my other second-rowers.  And he can kick goals, too!

No.12 - Bronson Harrison (Raiders) & No.13 - David Stagg (Bulldogs): I recruited the pair of them together prior to Round 3 before their prices jumped out of reach, and that has proved to be a masterstroke.  Along with Parker above, my second-rowers were rock-solid since.  Ex-bench players at the Tigers and the Broncos respectively until last year, they really blossomed into full-fledged starting forwards at their new clubs.  The 'Revelation of the Year' without a doubt, Stagg was my regular captain, while young Kiwi international Harrison was my vice-captain on many occasions.  Harrison and Stagg finished the season at No.1 and No.3 respectively in the Overall Player Rankings, with Parker splitting them at No.2.  I even had the luxury of benching QLD Origin enforcer Michael Crocker!

[Interchange]
No.14 - Jharal Yow Yeh (Broncos): I got this teenage sensation just before Round 2 as an understudy to Billy Slater.  Only saw a limited time in the NRL in the first half of the year but showed some sparkling display towards the pointy end of the season.  Should be much better for the run in 2010.

No.15 - Daniel Mortimer (Eels): Making his NRL debut mid-season, the rise and rise of this Mortimer pup was nothing short of remarkable.  Had the Dally M Rookie of the Year award been judged on the latter half of the season, he would have bumped Jamal Idris off his honor for sure.  Big future ahead.

No.16 - Paul Aiton (Panthers): This product of Papua New Guinea was a real surprise package.  I acquired him merely as a backup during the Origin period, but he was scoring solid points with such consistency I ended up keeping him for the rest of the year!  I'm sure the Panthers will realize what a big mistake it was to release him to the Sharks next year...

No.17 - ADAM BLAIR (Storm): This young Kiwi international started the season absolutely on fire on the afterburner of New Zealand's 2008 World Cup success, before running out of steam a bit in the end.  Survived my ax only because he was not expensive enough to swap with another high-scoring player.  What he needs is another successful Kiwis campaign in the Four Nations series later this year!

[Rest of the Squad]
No.18 - MANU VATUVEI & No.19 - Simon Mannering (both Warriors): 'The Beast' Manu probably suffered from the Warriors' indifferent form this season, but always went looking for the ball and got a couple of tries even in a losing match - practically dragging the rest of the team along.  Ditto for Mannering, who worked his backside off for the Auckland team in tough times.  Both of them picked up injuries and disappeared in the final few rounds but, being Kiwis, proved more than handy during the Origin period.

No.20 - Alex Glenn (Broncos): Broncos under-20s Toyota Cup captain last year, this young Kiwi utility almost slipped under the radar into the NRL comp this year.  Didn't exactly set the world on fire but made solid contribution week in, week out, either starting or playing off the bench in all but one game for the Broncos.  International duties beckon - sooner rather than later.

No.21 - DARREN LOCKYER (Broncos): Didn't do much point-wise (sorry, Locky!), but he is my hero and I just had to keep him for the sake of having the Australian/Queensland/Broncos captain on my squad!!

No.22 - Michael Crocker (Rabbitohs): I recruited him when he rejoined the NRL comp mid-season after his UK working visa was denied for his English Super League switch, and he didn't disappoint - until he suffered a long-term ankle injury in Round 23.  Still, he'd require a huge effort to crack into my starting side!

No.23 - Nathan Hindmarsh (Eels): Was the very last player I hired before Round 22 to boost my team's point-scoring capacity.  Had a bit of a hiccup in the final round when he succumbed to a shoulder injury (which was disguised as a 'mystery toe injury' at the time), and that's the only reason why he's not listed on my 17 above!  Made solid contribution in a handful of matches he played for me, finishing fourth in the Overall Player Rankings.

No.24 - Guy Williams (Broncos) & No.25 - Kayne 'The Hunk' Lawton (Titans): Along with Dane Nielsen, I got these inexpensive youngsters late in the season so that I could then afford more expensive players.  I got a big laugh, though, when I did a bit of research on Kayne Lawton: the first thing that came up on Google was a series of his 'almost-nude' photos under the banner of "Gods of Football"...  Needless to say, I recruited him right there and then!  He takes out the 'Hottest Player on My Squad' title hands down!

My special thanks go to Wendell Sailor (Dragons) for adding considerable character (and handy points!) to my squad for the first half of the season.  Also, big 'Thank-youse' to Cooper Cronk (Storm), Benji Marshall (Tigers) and Russell Packer (Warriors) for holding the house together mid-season when my rep players went missing for their Origin duties.  The same applies to Tom Learoyd-Lahrs (Raiders) - until he himself reported for NSW duty in Origin 3.

Young guns such as Joseph Tomane (Storm), Kevin Gordon (Titans), Jake Friend (Roosters) and Broderick Wright (Eels) proved to be quite valuable mid-season.  Although these up-and-comers will no longer be dirt-cheap at the start of next season...

I am rather mystified by recent reports in a certain Sydney tabloid about alleged 'late-night kebab prowl' and 'drug allegations' against some of the Brisbane Broncos/Queensland rugby league players.  Those stories were sensationally splashed all over the Daily Telegraph for a couple of days - and then vanished just as quickly as they appeared when it became obvious that they were nothing but some cooked-up fabrications by certain journalists of theirs.

...But HANG ON A MINUTE.  The publisher of the newspaper in question is Nationwide News, who in turn owns about two-thirds of the Broncos' parent company.  So, technically, those journos were bagging THEIR OWN TEAM, scandalizing every little detail of the players' so-called 'misbehavior'.  What benefit does that bring to both parties, then?  What in hell were they trying to achieve - to incriminate the act of eating kebab at night?  Is this some kind of Sydney/New South Wales conspiracy against the Queensland team??  I REALLY DON'T GET IT...

P.S. - If they seriously want to outlaw late-night kebab-eating, then they should pitch that to Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who just happens to be a Broncos supporter...

PROLOGUE: When I bade farewell to my workmates on the eve of my State of Origin 3 trip to Brisbane, one of them - a New South Wales supporter - groaned: "I'm soooo... over the Origin now!"  There... that's the problem for NSW; their fans have given up on their team because Queensland has already wrapped up the series in Game 2.  However, the said NSW supporter defiantly claimed: "They keep changing their players, so we don't know who to support!"  Well, I think she's got a point there... (Take note, NSWRL selectors!)

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15, 2009: Upon my arrival in Brisbane, the manager of my accommodation - clad in QLD jersey - saw my Maroons outfit and said, "Now, you are wearing the right gear!"  He and his wife suggested that I leave a bit early for Suncorp Stadium - QLD's home venue proper - and go via the famous (or notorious) Caxton Street to soak up the true QLD Origin atmosphere.

Brisbane's Caxton Street is a relatively short street that leads to the northern end of Suncorp Stadium.  It is lined with nothing but pubs and nightclubs, and for several hours before an Origin match, a sea of Maroon jerseys claim the ownership of the whole street, drinking God knows how many schooners of XXXX (Four-ex) beer.  You'd have to be a very brave soul to be wearing NSW gear on this strip, for they would start booing you at a slightest hint of sky blue.  I also spotted a Manly fan who seemed to be suffering a bit of an identity crisis, but at least he was relatively safe - if only for the maroon color of his fave team.

Unlike the divided crowds in Melbourne for Origin 1 (see separate entry elsewhere on this blog), I didn't see a single NSW jersey in the Brisbane CBD on the game day.  An elderly lady in Queen Street Mall quipped: "You better be hiding if you are a NSW supporter!!"

QUEST FOR CAFE LATTE AT SUNCORP

During this Origin week, Brisbane was experiencing a rather severe cold snap, and as soon as the sun went down, the temperature plummeted as well.  Despite the five layers of clothing on me, I nearly froze to death watching the curtain-raiser match, so I decided to grab some hot food and drink before the main game.  To my dismay, however, the shops inside the stadium were only selling beer and cold drinks, and I just could not find a humble cup of coffee anywhere!  I asked several shop attendants and security guards if they knew where I could find coffee, and their answers were more or less the same: "Oh, there's a coffee shop somewhere for sure, but I'm not sure exactly where..."

So I set out on my desperate quest for a bloody cup of coffee, circumnavigating the entire venue and passing millions of public bars and beer outlets along the way, before finally locating an espresso bar - which was nothing more than a tiny stall - at the northern end of the stadium.  Amazing... Queenslanders must drink beer, and beer only, even in the middle of winter!  Now I was beginning to understand why people from south of the border call those beer-swigging Queenslanders 'bogans'.  But if that's the case, I'd probably be counted as one of them on the basis of being a Maroons supporter, wouldn't I...

BRING IT ON!  TRUE COLORS OF ORIGIN REVEALED

I'd made my 'debut' at Suncorp Stadium - as a spectator - last September when my beloved Brisbane Broncos were beaten by the Melbourne Storm in the final minute of their sudden-death semi-final clash (again, see separate story on this blog).  But this was my first Origin experience on QLD's home turf, and I was suitably excited.

...Well, they don't call this place 'The Cauldron' for no reason.  Roars of "QUEENSLANDAH!!" from the home crowd echoed through the stadium, and they booed the Blues players with gusto if there was a slightest sign of infringement by them.

QLD opened the score first, with a somewhat controversial 'torso try' by lock Dallas Johnson - who looks more and more like Wolverine by the day (NSW may have David 'Wolfman' Williams, but QLD has its own wolfman, too!).  Unlike their two previous outings, though, this NSW side looked pretty good right from the start, and they soon got the upper hand with tries to second rower Ben Creagh and winger Williams.

To cut a long story short, NSW would never relinquish their lead from that point on, and won the match rather comfortably in the end.  But what distinguished this encounter as one of the most memorable in Origin history had nothing to do with the result or quality of the game.  It was the fiery clashes and sparks in the dying minutes that were megawatts brighter than the finale of Sydney's New Year's Eve fireworks...

My own highlights included QLD center Justin Hodges' acrobatic no-try, where he pounced onto the ball like a big cat trying to capture its prey - and a rather surprising punch-up between NSW interchange forward Brett White and 35-year-old QLD prop Steve Price close to full time.  I was fully expecting some sort of scuffle involving QLD's firebrand Michael Crocker and feisty NSW rookie Michael Ennis at some stage, but it was a $151.00 outsider Price who got into trouble first.

As he admitted later on, he'd never been involved in a fight in his long rugby league career until now, so it was no surprise he came second best and got knocked out cold.  One thing is sure now: don't expect to find any boxing scouts knocking on Pricey's door when he finally hangs up his footy boots...

This incident sparked a melee involving about half the players from both sides, and the moment it got out of hand, EVERY Maroons player, and EVERY QLD supporter - myself included - promptly forgot what the score was, and the focus swiftly shifted to revenge with a capital R.  Even as I write this report now, I still can't tell the final score off the top of my head.  No-one played football during the final minute of the match; it was just a stream of abuse, pushes and shoves that would have done Reg Reagan proud, and the crowd - again, myself included - ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!  A total of three players - two from NSW - were marched off the field, but it was purely academic this late in the game.

So, the Maroons lost Game 3, but their fans were still quite jovial after the match.  I've never before seen such happy supporters of a losing side, and I've never been THIS happy after seeing my team lose...!  With an Origin experience at Suncorp under my belt, you can call me an apprentice bogan now.  I still sip my latte and chardonnay all right, but I'm getting there...

EPILOGUE - THURSDAY, JULY 16, 2009: The morning after this historic Origin battle, a large photo of Justin Hodges' spectacular no-try was splashed all over the Courier Mail and the Gold Coast Bulletin - QLD papers for the losing side.  On the same day, a huge photo of a rescued British backpacker - who had been missing in the Blue Mountains for 12 days - was on the front page of the Daily Telegraph, and the news of NSW's gutsy Origin win was relegated to a small banner at the bottom of the newspaper.  I felt rather sorry for the Blues boys, but their timing was a bit off, I suppose...

P.S. - I've just been reminded of the final score of Origin 3: it was QLD 16 - NSW 28.

JULY 12, 2009: Australian Formula One driver Mark Webber has finally - FINALLY! - won a Grand Prix race in Germany in his 130th start in the category!!  WELL DONE!!!

Much touted as the unluckiest driver EVER to race in Formula One, he has endured a never-ending series of misfortunes that is longer than the River Nile - from engine failures, to tire punctures, electrical gremlins, crashes that are not his fault, and even a road accident off-season in Tasmania late last year.  We motor racing followers had gotten so used to seeing a DNF (Did Not Finish) next to his name in the results that it took some mental adjustment this season when his Red Bull machine started appearing at the pointy end of the field more than a couple of times.

Now I can already hear Roy & HG screaming on Triple M radio: "Mark Webber not only DID NOT DNF... but also finished on the top of the podium overnight... That's disgraceful... absolutely DISGRACEFUL!!!"

I'd say, hot-blooded New South Wales rookie Michael Ennis taking on Queensland's 'usual suspect' Michael Crocker at some stage of 2009 State of Origin 3 is about $1.08.  Likewise, Ennis going toe to toe with Dragons firebrand Neville Costigan is $1.15, while Ennis confronting QLD rookie forward David Shillington is $1.22.  Ennis niggling the original niggler Justin Hodges - his former Broncos teammate - would be around $1.38.  Pity Carl Webb is not in the QLD squad this year...

JUNE 24, 2009: Why does it always have to be Queenslanders that get sick around Origin time???  It was swine flu at Melbourne for Origin 1... and now several Maroons players have been struck down with a mystery stomach virus on the eve of Origin 2 in Sydney!  It's not fair... some New South Wales supporters must have poisoned them!!  Poor old Nate Myles was so desperate to dash off to the toilet he missed out on the post-match celebration.  (Ah... stuff of a legend!)

It didn't really matter in the end, though, as the battered QLD troops have still managed to win both games and wrapped up an unprecedented fourth successive series victory in Origin history.  But I'm now convinced that some of them are going to contract AIDS virus or some other nasties come Origin 3 at Suncorp...

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3, 2009: I flew deep into the AFL (Aussie Rules) territory to attend the first of the 3-match State of Origin series.  I was curious to see how rugby league was faring in this AFL-mad city but, as far as I could see, most Melburnians were blissfully ignorant of the fact that the greatest event on the National Rugby League calendar was about to take place in their backyard.

On the game day, a Wallace made the sports headline on TV news and in the local newspapers - but they were not talking about New South Wales halfback Peter Wallace.  Instead, it was about an AFL coach who was leaving his club mid-season.  The Origin news - normally a front- AND back-page affair in NSW and Queensland - took a back seat, behind all the AFL club match rundown.  ...Amazing.

It was QLD's home game in neutral territory but, according to an usher at Etihad Stadium, a lot more Blues jerseys could be seen in the stands early on.  However, Maroons supporters arrived fashionably late en masse, eventually outnumbering the NSW fans.  ...Well, let's face it: NSW supporters don't even bother turning up for their home games in Sydney, so what chances do they have at an interstate venue?!?!

QLD - the clear favorites and boasting Australian rep players from No.1 through No.10 - duly scored four tries to NSW's one and led 24 - 6 by early in the second half.  I was more than a little concerned during the second half when QLD sort of clocked off and went to sleep a bit, allowing NSW to come back into the game.  (I thought the habit of Broncos players among the Maroons squad might have rubbed off onto their teammates there...!)

In the end, though, QLD proved too strong for the baby Blues - seven of whom had just gone through a baptism of Origin fire.  Trailing 24 - 18, NSW was still trying hard when skipper Kurt Gidley knocked on inside the final minute, and all the QLD supporters breathed a collective sigh of relief.  But the Maroons players were not finished yet, with their winger Darius Boyd adding another try off a scrum play with only 10 seconds to go and making the final score 28 - 18.  The Maroons never stop attacking right until the full-time siren, and that's why I LOVE them.

That night, Origin made the late night sports news on TV - after the AFL news, of course - but failed to figure on the prime time news the following night.  On Thursday morning, some teenage school kid making his AFL debut was on the front page of the Herald-Sun newspaper, and a half-page photo of Maroons star Billy Slater was pushed back to the back page.  ...Amazing.

On the game day, lots of people were seen walking around the CBD in Blues jerseys, but that number was considerably reduced on Thursday morning.  It was a bloody good day to be wearing a QLD jersey indeed...

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!

FRIDAY, JUNE 5, 2009: For once, I want to give the NRL Marketing team a pat on the back for scheduling the Round 13 Melbourne Storm vs. Brisbane Broncos game on the Friday night following Origin 1.  As far as I'm concerned, this has been a stroke of genius on their part - and I'm sure all the Queenslanders (some from as far as Cairns!) who stayed on for the match will agree with me.

Initially, I'd had no intention of traveling to Origin 1, but as soon as I learned that the Storm vs. Bronx game would go ahead on the Friday night after the Origin, I was straight onto the Internet and booking my return flight and accommodation...

The Olympic Park stadium was packed with more than 15,000 fans - most of them sporting the purple of the home team.  Rugby league might still be a minority in Melbourne, but the fans are quite passionate and knowledgeable.  They've even created a song for the Storm/Maroons fullback Billy Slater, which goes: "Su-per, superman; Su-per, superman; Su-per, superman; Su-per Bi-lly Sla-ter!"  Every time Billy "The Kid" makes a line break or flies down the field, the crowd would break into the song, and it was quite entertaining.

Unfortunately for my fave team, the rampaging Storm beat the living daylights out of the under-strength Broncos side.  Skipper Darren Lockyer was rested after his Origin duty, and star center Justin Hodges had already been ruled out after sustaining a knee injury on Wednesday night.  Their senior players tried hard, but it was obvious right from the kick-off that the hapless Broncos, collectively, were running around like a headless chicken...

On the other hand, Storm's four Origin stars all backed up - and how!  The Bronx players were so frustrated that they were even head-butting each other towards the end, with poor old Alex Glenn ending up with a broken nose.  In the end, Brisbane suffered a near-record defeat with the scoreboard reading a rather ridiculous 48 - 4...

But at least it was just a regular round match, and there wasn't the same level of desperation or intensity I'd felt when I'd witnessed their last-minute defeat to the Storm in last year's sudden-death semi-final (see separate entry on this blog for more on that match).  So I still left the stadium light-hearted.  After all, I've got Melbourne's Billy Slater, Cooper Cronk and Adam Blair on my Fantasy NRL squad (a web game with Sydney's the Daily Telegraph) and they scored some handy points for me on the night!

I wore my 2006 Premiership Special Edition Broncos jersey to the game - complete with Lockyer's No.6 on the back.  But a Storm fan spotted it and teased me after the match: "He didn't even play tonight, mate!"  It was not a good night to be wearing a Broncos jersey...

P.S. - AND THEN THERE WAS SWINE FLU... WHAT SWINE FLU?!?!

As I flew into Victoria - the epicenter of swine flu in Australia - I took preventive measures against the flu and wore a mask on my flight as well as at the Origin venue.  However, most locals were doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to prevent the disease, and some people even made fun of me at Etihad Stadium, saying: "Swine flu!  That's the first face mask I've seen!!"  It seemed that, unlike Asian countries, the concept of wearing a mask during the flu season was completely foreign in the Australian society.  They seemed so confident that it wouldn't happen to them.

As it turns out, though, Maroons forward Ben Hannant contracted the disease whilst in Melbourne, sending fellow Origin players and team staff into quarantine as a result.  ...So there you go.  If a player can catch it, anyone can, too.  (The night's lesson: Ignore health warnings at your own peril!!)

If anything, interstate visitors were more wary of swine flu than the majority of Melburnians.  ...Now a naughty part of me is resisting the urge to stand up and declare on a crowded bus/train: "People!  I've just come back from Victoria, and I'm going to sneeze...!"

P.P.S. - It's officially been confirmed that Maroons interchange/Broncos fullback Karmichael Hunt has got swine flu as well, forcing the entire Broncos stable into a lockdown mode.  ...Then you might as well rename it "Human Equine Flu"...

I am not a big fan of reading biographies, but that's exactly what I seem to have been doing a lot lately.  And most of them involve junkie types – well, one dealt with accidental doping to be exact, in the case of ex-Brisbane Broncos forward Shane Webcke.  But those true 'junkies' I'm talking about are: Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx; and guitarist Slash, of Guns N' Roses/Velvet Revolver fame.

Just like Nikki Sixx's semi-autobiography, Slash's self-titled book – written with former Rolling Stone writer Anthony Bozza – was a great read also.  So good, in fact, I needed to make a conscious effort on many a weeknight to put it down at midnight; otherwise I would have continued reading it until the wee hours and been running late for work every single morning...

While Nikki's book mostly focuses on the one year – 1987 – where he overdosed on heroin and nearly lost his life, Slash's covers pretty much the whole of his life up until 2007.  And what a colorful life he's had, right from the moment he was born...

Saul Hudson – better known to the world as Slash – was born in England in 1965, to a white English father and an African American mother.  His artist dad met his fashion designer mom in Paris in the sixties, and they were the most liberal kinds of parents you could ever wish for.  The Hudson family soon relocated to Los Angeles, where Slash grew up among all sorts of celebrities and studio exec types.  His parents separated eventually, and his mom even dated David Bowie at one stage...!

Slash was a keen BMX rider at a young age, and then found the love of playing guitar.  He excelled in arts, music and English at school but showed no interest in any other subjects (which kind of reminded me of my own high school era...!).  He later designed the Guns N' Roses emblem – two revolvers entangled in thorny roses dripping with blood – as well as the 'VR' logo for Velvet Revolver.

As soon as he hit his teens, Slash was into everything from smoking, drinking, shoplifting, to sex – you name it.  You wouldn't believe the things he boldly lifted from various shops; he even stole his very first top hat, which would later become his trademark.  He combined an ornate concho belt – also shoplifted – with the top hat to create the prototype of what he now wears regularly onstage.

Then the drugs followed... and Slash writes all about his mischief and debauchery in this book with remarkable candor.  I'm just curious to know how many years he would cop in jail if he were to be charged retrospectively for all the crimes he'd committed over the years...

APPETITE FOR SUCCESS

Pretty much half of his biography is dedicated to the formative years of Guns N' Roses: the birth of the band; the recording of their debut album; and the ensuing tour that went on for a couple of years.  The original line-up of the Gunners – Slash, bassist Duff McKagan, drummer Steven Adler, rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin, and lead singer W. Axl Rose – were penniless when they started out, but all were hungry for success and determined to make it big.

Their chemistry and camaraderie was such that they put together quite a few songs in a record time for what would later become their No.1 debut album, Appetite For Destruction.  (A far cry from the latest Guns N' Roses album, Chinese Democracy, which has taken Axl Rose – the sole remaining original member in the current line-up – 14 long years to complete!)  Their creative juices were flowing so wildly that they even came up with the idea of recording a real sex scene between Axl and this woman he was shagging at the time, and dubbed it over a track they'd just recorded.  The end result is Rocket Queen – the final number on Appetite.

The Gunners toured with Motley Crue in the late 1987 as their opening act.  If I borrow Nikki Sixx's famous 'formula' ("Chicks = Trouble"), that notorious tour was like "Motley + The Gunners = Double Trouble".  Since Nikki and Slash hung around a lot with each other, certain episodes appear in their respective books – including Nikki's near-fatal overdose.  After all, Slash was RIGHT THERE when Nikki almost died – though he was so completely drunk he doesn't remember much of it.  (See separate entry on this blog for more info on Nikki Sixx's 'The Heroine Diaries'.)

ROAD TO DESTRUCTION

The Gunners' lead singer Axl Rose was showing plenty of eccentricity right from the start, but it soon escalated with the success of the band.  He was getting increasingly late for their gigs, rehearsals and sound checks.  Sometimes he didn't even show up for their recording sessions at all.  Looking back on the Gunners' last tour Down Under in 2007, we were probably lucky that Axl made it onstage BEFORE midnight – if only just.  (Again, see separate story on this blog about the Guns N' Roses' late-night 2007 Sydney gig.)

I don't want to get involved in the debate as to who was responsible for the demise of Guns N' Roses.  By reading Slash's book, though, I just got the impression that the rest of the band members were probably also guilty – of being too laid-back and too tolerant of Axl's behaviors.  However, whether they could have changed the situation for the better by taking a firm stand against Axl is another matter altogether...

Despite the cracks that were fast appearing between the band members, their chemistry music-wise was still going strong.  After the release of their second disc, G N' R Lies, during their Appetite tour, they composed far too many songs for their next disc – hence the double release of Use Your Illusion 1 & 2 in 1991.  They debuted at No.2 and No.1 respectively on the chart, and the Gunners had the rock world at their mercy.  But from there it all went pear-shaped...

SLASH REBORN... LITERALLY!

Slash, too, 'died' on a cocktail of drugs in 1992, with his heart stopping for eight minutes solid.  (Apparently he hadn't learned anything from Nikki Sixx's overdose, and he was filthy with himself afterwards for having died!)  And he certainly didn't learn from HIS own scare, either, for he kept flirting with odd drugs and booze ever since.  Eventually, doctors had to implant a cardioverter-defibrillator – a pacemaker-like device – in Slash's heart when he was thirty-five to keep him alive.  It sends electroshock whenever his heart beats too fast or too slow.

Apart from this device, there's no doubt that the best thing that has ever happened to Slash is fatherhood, and his two young sons – London and Cash – have saved his life, more or less.  At one stage, Slash's wife Perla was also addicted to diet pills ("a gourmet form of speed"), but both of them cleaned up their act for the sake of their children.  If not for them, Slash might have been a goner long before now.

He may be kept alive by the little machine in his heart, but Slash is still slashing around and kicking.  He maintains that the crowds don't really notice when the defibrillator sends shockwaves through his body while performing.  But just be nice to him and pretend you saw nothing weird if you ever happen to catch him suddenly looking like an electrocuted possum mid-riff onstage...

P.S. – I thought I'd had quite enough of reading biographies, but now I've started reading another one... the Han Solo Trilogy, which is set before the Star Wars Episode 4.  Well, if you can call THAT a biography...

APRIL 4, 2009: After three years' absence, Bruce Kulick - ex-KISS/current Grand Funk Railroad lead guitarist - made a long-awaited return to Australia for a whirlwind guitar clinic tour in four cities in four days (phew!!).  Exclusively presented by Allans Music, Bruce made in-store appearances at their stores in Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Sydney from April 1 - 4.

He demonstrated several KISS tunes from the Bruce Kulick-era in the 1980's and '90's (including Unholy - the dramatic opening number of the 1992 smash-hit album, Revenge), as well as instrumental pieces, Liar and Jump The Shark, off his two solo albums, AudioDog and Transformer.  He also talked about guitars, sound effect equipment and songwriting, and answered questions from the fans.

The gig was concluded with a brand-new instrumental number called Between The Lines, off his soon-to-be-released third solo album, BK3.  Bruce is currently adding the finishing touches to his new disc, and for this Down Under tour he specially prepared a 3-song, limited Australian EP featuring No Friend Of Mine (with his Union/ESP band mate John Corabi on lead vocals), And I Know (with Bruce singing himself), and the aforementioned Between The Lines featuring Steve Lukather, of TOTO fame.  'BK3' was only meant to be a temporary title for the new disc, but it's really stuck in the end!

After each clinic, Bruce signed autographs and posed for photos for every single fan that came to see him, and they returned home very happy.

Some of my photos, taken at Bruce's Sydney workshop, are now posted on his official web, as well as the KISS Army Australia site below.

Uh... was it just my imagination... or did Braith Anasta and Karmichael Hunt actually star in Slumdog Millionaire, as brothers Jamal and Salim??

PROLOGUE – RENDEZVOUS IN THE NETHERLANDS

When I planned my trip to Tunisia, I decided to fly via Amsterdam.  There's no direct flight between Sydney and Tunis, so I thought I might as well pay a visit to my longtime Dutch pen-friend Shirley and her partner Jaap in Rotterdam – for the first time ever.  To cut a long story short, I got to know Shirley – a fellow KISS fan – through the classified section ("Pen Pal Wanted!") of a Japanese music magazine when we were both teenagers, and we've been writing each other ever since without actually meeting in person – until NOW.

My very first impression of the Netherlands was: "How compact is this country..."  My plane took off from Sydney Airport, and four hours later we were still flying over the west coast of Australia – whereas in the Netherlands it took only 45 minutes by train from Schiphol Airport to Rotterdam.  It is probably bigger a deal for Penrith residents to commute to the Sydney CBD, I'd imagine...

The weather was a bit dodgy in the Netherlands during my stay, and when the sun was not shining it was just as cold as Sydney's winter.  But thanks to Shirley and Jaap's wonderful hospitality – they drove me around Rotterdam and to nearby sights such as Delft, Den Haag, Kinderdijk and Gouda – I was able to cover so many places in such a short period of time.  We played our favorite KISS songs in the car and had an absolute ball...!!

'WAKE-UP CALL' FROM THE MOSQUE

For those who can't quite pinpoint where the hell Tunisia is – it's in North Africa on the Mediterranean Sea, sandwiched between Libya and Algeria.  If you are sports-minded, you might recall that Grant Hackett – one of Australia's greatest swimming champions – was beaten to silver medal in the 1,500m freestyle final at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games by Oussama Mellouli from Tunisia.  Or you might also know Tunisia from their appearances in the Soccer World Cup finals in recent years.

I'd pre-booked my return flight, but otherwise I just turned up in Tunis – the capital of Tunisia – without any accommodation or domestic transport arrangements, and traveled down south from there.

I first tried traveling by bus from Tunis to the town of Teboursouk, but I was totally overwhelmed by all the Arabic script at the bus terminal, where the only words you can read in the English alphabet are: Departure, Police, some numerals on the timetable, and nothing much else.  I had a hard time there trying to find out which bay my coach would depart from...!  Ever since, I switched to 'louage' (shared long-distance taxi, which is actually a van), and it became the transport of my choice in Tunisia.

Tunisia is a Muslim country (98% of the population), and chances are that every morning at 4:00a.m., you are woken up by a 'call to prayer' from the loud speaker of a nearby mosque.

However, Tunisia is probably the most liberated Muslim country in the world, and is very unique in that their women are more westernized.  You'll see half of them in traditional 'hijab' (headscarves) and long sleeves, while the other half wear T-shirts and jeans with their hair flowing freely.  During the whole duration of my trip, I saw just ONE woman completely covered in long black robe, with only her eyes visible.  But what was exposed of her was absolutely beautiful – in a very mysterious and exotic way...

In the evenings, however – particularly in smaller towns – you'll see men, and MEN ONLY, having coffee/tea and smoking water pipes (called 'sheesha') in cafes and restaurants.  It's an overwhelming and almost intimidating sight at first, and you can't help but think: "Where the hell are their women?"

THE WORLD OF GLADIATORS

Tunisia is a very interesting destination and, for a relatively small country, offers a wide variety of attractions tourism-wise.  There are no fewer than eight World Heritage sites in Tunisia, including the 'medina' (the old quarter of city) in Tunis, Sousse and Kairouan respectively.

Then there are ancient Roman and Punic (Carthage) ruins in Northern Tunisia (think 'Julius Caesar' and 'Gladiators'), with several places also World Heritage-listed.  I visited the Roman ruins of Dougga, as well as the imposing colosseum of El-Jem – without the crowds in Rome.  I even got down in the underground 'holding pit' at El-Jem, where gladiators and slaves would have waited before facing their inevitable death in the fighting arena.

If you go further south, the Sahara Desert and camels will take center stage (I lost a patch of my bum skin riding a camel!).  Out of Tozeur in the far west, there are several locations that have been used in Hollywood movies, such as the gorge in the oasis village of Mides that appeared in many films including English Patient.  Funnily enough, those places reminded me of our own Outback oases outside of Alice Springs.  And a Sahara trip through the huge salt lake of Chott el-Jerid is one of the highlights in the region.

Once you get tired of the arid terrain around the Sahara, you can always head for a nice beach resort on the Mediterranean Sea.  Local women don't bathe in public of course, but some seaside cities such as Sousse and Mahdia are full of European tourists swimming and sunbathing on the beach.

Of those seaside locations, I liked the beautiful island of Jerba, where Muslims, Jews and Catholics coexist peacefully.  You wouldn't imagine a Catholic church located next to a mosque, or a synagogue being one of the major tourist attractions in a Muslim country – but that's exactly the case on this very unique island!

AND THEN THERE WAS STAR WARS...

Does the name 'Tataouine' ring a bell to you?  Well, that's the real name of this town in Southern Tunisia, after which the planet of Tatooine in the Star Wars movies was named!

At the end of my three-day Sahara tour, we visited the small town of Matmata, which is famous for its troglodyte (underground) homes and hotels.  One such hotel – Sidi Driss – was used in the very first Star Wars movie (Episode 4) as Uncle Owen and Luke Skywalker's home on Tatooine.  There, in the 'Star Wars section' of the hotel, the set used in the film is mostly left untouched, and busloads of tourists come and go in a constant stream.  Inside 'Mos Eisley Cantina', you can see some framed Star Wars photos and newspaper clippings on the walls.

Further down south, around the town of Tataouine, you'll see funny structures called 'ksar' (plural 'ksour') that were also used in the Star Wars movies as slave quarters.  These fortified strongholds were originally built by the Berber people in the region.  The one used as the Mos Espa slave quarters, where young Anakin Skywalker lived with his mother in Episode 1, is called Ksar Haddada, while much bigger Ksar Ouled Soltane south of Tataouine also provided an impressive backdrop.

At the time of my visit, a section of Ksar Ouled Debbab, located just 9km from Tataouine, was being converted into a hotel.  If you are a Star Wars tragic, you might want to try it out and pretend that you are either Anakin or Luke living there... (Don't forget to pack your lightsaber!)

SILENCE OF THE POMS (AND AUSSIES)

You think English is a global language, right?  WRONG!  ...Well, at least it doesn't apply to this country.  Their first language is Arabic, but pretty much everyone speaks French as well, for they were under the French rule from the late 19th century until their independence in 1956.  If you can't speak either Arabic or French... well, bad luck.

If you are thinking: "I should be OK because people should be able to speak English wherever I go in the world," think again.  There's no place for such audacity here; the locals expect all the tourists to be able to speak French, more or less.  Come to think of it, it was also hard to find any TOURISTS who spoke English.  When I joined a nice young South African couple on a three-day Sahara tour, we were OH SO GLAD to be able to talk in English!!

I had studied Modern Standard Arabic for about 120 hours to prepare for this trip, but I was barely able to communicate where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do.  And I am totally clueless about French...  But I adapted to the local lingo soon enough and started using funny phrases like: "Shukran (thank you), monsieur" or "Aina at-toilettes? (Where's the toilet?)" – hybrid of Arabic and French!

Interestingly, though, local teenage girls and young women in their twenties were really impressed – even excited – to find out I could speak just a little bit of Arabic.  One such girl was so happy to hear me utter a few Arabic words that she enthusiastically shook my hand in the middle of Tunis Medina!  It seemed that those young girls had studied English at school, and they were really overjoyed that a foreigner would attempt to speak THEIR language (a rather complex language, I might add).  And older Tunisians in their forties and upwards – both men and women – were simply amused at my attempt to speak VERY broken Arabic...

It's a pity that Tunisia does not cater well for English-speaking tourists.  In smaller cities and towns, there was very little tourist information available in English, if at all.  Tataouine, undoubtedly, is the Mecca for Star Wars devotees, but the number of independent travelers to the region seemed surprisingly low.  Therefore it was no wonder that all the brochures available at their tourist information office were printed either in French or Italian.

Tunisia enjoys a flux of European tourists, but they haven't yet fully explored their potential as a tourist destination in the global sense.  But once the younger generations start speaking English more and more and promote the country to the 'rest of the world', I'm sure their tourism industry will benefit from it enormously.

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS FOR SOLO TRAVELERS

It was loads of fun roaming around Tunisia for almost four weeks, but I was left mentally exhausted at the end of the trip.  The language barrier was one thing, but the worst aspect of this trip was enduring endless catcalls, rip-off attempts, and sexual harassment by local men.

Because I was female, solo AND Japanese, the locals called out to me every 50 meters I walked (and make that 'every three meters' in a busy market): "Japon!" "Niihao!" "Konnichiwa!" "China!" and even "Jackie!" (as in Jackie Chan).  At first I was amused enough and thought: "Yeah, yeah, whatever..." but after a while it really got exhausting, and towards the end of the trip I was really spewing: "JUST GROW UP AND GET OVER IT, PEOPLE!!!"  I also met a solo MALE Japanese traveler on my trip but he said even he got lots of catcalls because the locals here don't get to see too many Asian tourists.

...Oh, and the sexual harassment...  Here's my ultimate sexual harassment story in Tunisia for you.  About five days into my trip, I spent a couple of nights in a small town in the northwest.  On the second morning at my budget hotel, I went down to the lounge to have breakfast.  It was a quiet morning as most of the guests had already checked out, and I think I was the only one there at the time.  The hotel's night/morning-shift receptionist (young male, of course!) was openly watching the porn channel – X-rated stuff – on satellite TV, and my breakfast tray was set up so I'd face the TV full frontal (pardon the pun!).

I sarcastically remarked to the receptionist, "Very nice TV program!!" and asked him to change the channel to either news or sport, but he couldn't find either (or rather, pretended he couldn't) and said, "I like this (porn) channel, don't you?"  So I just ignored both him AND the TV, finished my breakfast in a hurry and left.

...Now, if you have read my report and are having a second thought about visiting Tunisia... well, DO go there by all means; it would be a great shame if you miss this wonderful country.  I must also stress that at no stage of my trip I felt threatened or unsafe.  But if you are a female traveler, you will be wise to go with a group – or at least with a male companion – to avoid all the unwanted attention from those sexually frustrated young men.  It doesn't matter if your 'male companion' happens to be your brother – just tell them he's your boyfriend or husband!!

EPILOGUE - BACK TO (WESTERN) CIVILIZATION...

I left Tunisia physically in one piece but with mental wear and tear – and I must admit I was rather relieved when my Tunis Air flight touched down in Amsterdam.  And it was quite refreshing that NOT A SINGLE Dutch person made a catcall to me during my whole stay there...

Shirley and Jaap came out to Amsterdam to spend one last day with me.  We walked all over the city and visited the Van Gogh Museum.  Many thanks to them again for making my trip a whole lot more memorable...

NOTE: I undertook my trip to Tunisia in June 2008.

I have a betting problem.  ...No, it is not that I'm losing big bucks on my betting and destroying my life.  Far from it – I don't really have a bet on anything on a regular basis, and if I ever did, the maximum amount I'd be willing to pay is probably ten dollars!  But when I DO have a go, I have a tendency to follow my heart and not my brain.

For example, my analytical mind is saying: "Dinara Safina in three sets," but I still go against my better judgment and go for comeback kid Jelena Dokic to win their quarter-final encounter in the Australian Open tennis.  The same thing when I placed my ten bucks on bolter Jo-Wilfried Tsonga against Novak Djokovic in last year's men's singles final.  Ditto my rugby league bets: even when my head is telling me: "The Melbourne Storm will beat the hell out of the Brisbane Broncos," I still cannot betray my beloved Maroon-and-Golds (and lose my money, of course!).

As for this year's Aussie Open men's singles final, I was torn BIG TIME between my head ("Roger Federer, because he's had an easy semi and is well rested") and my heart ("Rafael Nadal – despite his marathon semi-final, he's got an overwhelming edge over Federer [12 – 6] in their head-to-head encounters").  In the end, though, I gave up on the idea of betting on the match altogether.  (And typically, my 'heart bet' would have won on that occasion!)

But there's one thing you can safely bet on: for Roger Federer to cry after a Grand Slam final – win, lose or draw!!

P.S. – Lovable 'Russian Bear' – ever so charismatic and humorous Marat Safin – I'm going to miss you so much the next time the Aussie Open circus rolls into Melbourne...  But at least he can rest assured that his 'little sis' Dinara will now continue to fly the family flag – throwing occasional tantrums (and rackets!) and providing very quotable quotes for many years to come!